It was a fine morning.

We were on our way to my daughter’s school. As we stopped for a red light at an intersection, a man in ragged clothes approached our car and stood outside the passenger door. He knocked and gestured ‘give me [money]’. He’s a street beggar. For our own protection, we kept our windows closed and our doors locked. He stood there for a little bit and then moved on to the next car.

Green light came on, we took a right and into the street. My daughter, Iya, asked us (me and my wife), “Why some people just ask money?”. I said, “Because working [for money] is hard and maybe they don’t want to do it. Or, they can’t get work because they did not finish school”. I glimpsed at her, wondering if I made my point. I could have said a lot more possible reasons why the man ended up the way he is – like some of them are victims of circumstances and so on and so forth – but I was trying to make use of the situation to inspire Iya on going to school so I cut my response short. She replied, “Mommy, Daddy, when I grow up…”. Those words were enough to send our thoughts at an alarm. My wife, An, feared the next words would be I will just ask for money or something along that line. We braced ourselves for what’s to come. It was as if everything was in slow motion and soundless until the next words “…I will just take care of Ivi (her baby sister)”. I noticed a certain note of sadness and sincere concern in her voice. I was curious as to why. Then Iya continued, “I don’t know how to work”.

An and I were both quiet. Carefully crafting a way to handle the situation. We recently learned that kids at her age act by emotions and not by rationale, so telling her ‘you will learn how to work eventually’ or ‘you’ll need to work when you get older’ is not a good option. Then what to do next? What could she have been feeling?

Then I understood. She’s probably referring to what she sees mom and dad are doing when working. She doesn’t know how to do those things right now. I recall one time, I was working late into the night. She woke up and saw me engrossed with my tasks. She sat beside me and said, “Can I help you?” Because she wanted me to get some rest already and in her young mind, she thinks if she can help, then work will be finished faster. So I gave her my laptop and she quickly figured she don’t know what to do. Thus, she don’t know how to work! However, she considered taking care of her baby sister, because that’s something she thinks she can do. Because she sees us – babysitters included – doing that. And it is something she understands at her age. We concluded that she was acting on her emotions with inputs from things she already understands and has exposure on. So instead of bringing the conversation elsewhere, and become a limiting parent, I simply said, “Ok, you can focus on taking care of your sister for now.”

Understanding our childrens feelings or emotions is something we found to be useful when dealing or conversing with them. I used to force rationale in our discussions but I realized I am only limiting her imaginations and choices. We have been practicing and experimenting on this recently and we have been getting good response. If you are a parent, (aunt, uncle, grandparent, babysitter) you might want to take this approach next time you get in a counter rational conversation with your kids. But, keep in mind that every child is different and this might not work the same way for everyone. Please feel free to share your own approach in the comments.

One afternoon, I found myself scurrying around the block to get to the building beside the one next to my office for a meet-up to do a business deal closure. It was almost five o’clock in the afternoon and I wanted to get to the rendevous on time for two things: 1.) being late really makes me feel uncomfortable regardless the importance of the meeting, 2.) I am squeezing the appointment between other appointments that are only 30 minutes apart!

All the while, I was hoping that the other guy arrives on time and that the activities we need to undertake will take only twenty minutes or less. Otherwise, I miss the next item on my schedule and it will affect the next one, and the next one. Then, chaos!

Now, how did I get myself in this situation in the first place when I woke up in the morning to a straight forward schedule?

Here’s what happened:

I had an appointment at 10:00 AM and I was at the agreed location for a full hour, starting to wonder which ‘ten o’clock’ we had agreed on because no one was showing up nor am I getting any updates on my phone. I finally received an SMS saying that he can’t make it on time – get this – an hour and thirty minutes after ten o’clock in the morning.

Fast forward, he finally decided to send someone else in his stead seven hours past the originally agreed time. That left me no window to re-arrange my schedule so there I was scrambling for an appointment, uncertain what will happen next. On account of someone else’s inability to put his affairs in order.

That’s an experience I certainly would not want others to have on account of my actions. So, I’m glad my folks spent the time to build in me and my siblings these very simple things which had been very helpful in keeping up with “time”:

Wake up at the same time everyday. Even if you slept late last night. I never truly understood what this meant until I had my own family. Specially when our first born came to our lives. For babies, consistency in schedule must be followed – or at least that’s how we did it. So we had to wake up the same time every morning to prepare and give the baby a bath. We do this up to this day. But life’s grinds don’t always allow us the luxury to wake up at the same time strictly anymore, so at times, at least one of us, between me and my wife, gets up to keep things going. But we never fall far from the standard wake up time. This is not only useful for having kids. It has also been useful in keeping schedules. Waking up early gives us flexibility to adjust whenever we come across schedule or task challenges.

Be 30 minutes earlier than call time. When I started working at an IT company, one important thing my dad told me was target to be at the venue/office at least 30 minutes earlier than required time. This is to mitigate possible obstacles on the way to work. Think traffic jams, long queues at bus terminals, a car broke down on the high way, etc. You get the point.

Show up at the time you said you would show up. And perhaps during this smartphone age, let people know if you can’t make it on time. There are a lot of means now a days. It is very different if you just show up late, than if you show up late but you informed ahead. People will understand your situation and also will be able to adjust their own plans.

Time is your most precious commodity and yet most of us live our lives as if we have all the time in the world. – Robin Sharma

One morning, our kids woke up too early for our energy to match. (Well, really, they woke up around the right time. It’s just that my wife and I were both exhausted from work the previous day and we were having a hard time getting up. I was also unwell then.) So these kids, who woke up too early, entertained themselves by playing with each other and playing with whatever stuff they found interesting in the bedroom – like ottoman converted to indoor slide. After too long, they got bored and decided to poke and prod their mom and dad.

We were still too drowsy and were thinking of a way to buy a few more minutes of rest. My wife remembered about the gift we brought home the other night. It was for my 2nd daughter who just turned 2 a few days back. So my wife said, ‘Kids, there’s a paper bag beside the ottoman, open it and you’ll find a gift inside’. Eerrrmm…of course I winged that sentence because I was still half a sleep then, but my wife said something like that.

Our four-year old, upon hearing the word ‘gift’, went straight to the bag and pulled out the package. She asked her mom, “Can I open?” (She likes opening gifts. She opens her gifts by herself – mostly – since she was 10 months old). Her mom said, “Yes, open it for your baby sister” She was so happy and started the deed with no second thought.

When it was finally out of the wrappings, our four-year old, cheerfully announced that it was a building set. Probably upon seeing tools. But then she identified the kind of tools in the ‘toolbox’ and realized, it’s a doctor set!

She looked at me excitedly and said, “Dad you’re sick, we’re gonna help you!” She turned to her baby sister and said, “We’ll gonna be doctors for Daddy, right? Because Daddy’s sick all the time. We will fix Daddy!”

That moment was both fun – seeing how excited and happy they are with their new toy, and touching – noting how they first thought of helping fix my sickness.

That moment brought me to a realization. To give my health priority. To take rests when needed. To not overstretch my physical limitations for less important things.

I have to be healthy because I want to enjoy more moments with my family. And so do you for your loved ones.